Easter Holiday, Redecorated rooms, and Fun and Games at the Lake and Nature Reserve. Wonderful April!

We have a had wonderful April in our house. We had the Easter Holiday from school, which for two of my children, was for three weeks, and for J, two and a bit weeks.

As the weather was fantastic (especially for early April), we were able to go out a lot. I took the boys to a local nature and lake reserve on several days. I took a picnic each time, and spent many many hours wandering around, playing games such as catch, sitting by the lake shore, and taking in the peace and tranquility.

We had a visit to the local community farm, and participated in an egg hunt there - the best part being they were all rewarded with a bag of mini chocolate eggs!

I had bought some bubble making machines for them all, and our garden was alive with floatings bubbles, catching the light, and twinkling so beautifully before they disappeared.

J finally got his beloved Croc shoes, and has lived in them ever since. He also took to a new t-shirt I bought for him on the spur of the moment, as I loved the pale yellow colour of it. He wore it as soon as I showed him it, and he didn't hide it in a drawer (which he does when he doesn't like a new item of clothing).

As the weather was so hot, I bought him a new pair of shorts. He isn't a fan of shorts, and has been known to try and stretch them down, to lengthen the leg! But, he is almost 13, and as he is a very tall boy for his age (5ft 9in), I still want him to look good, and not have him dress shabbily.
So I purchased a pair of denim 'long' shorts. He was not happy at first and hid them. But, I had everyone ready to leave for the lake and reserve, and then asked him to change into them. He complied, with a bit of fussing, but it was too hot for his regular black trousers he wears.
Once in the car he was fine, and accepted these were what he would be wearing.
Below is a photo I took (well, one of many!) of J taking in the lake. He loves nature and the outdoors, and at this place, there are other people who walk dogs, but no-one is right there in your face, or bustling past you.
He relaxes there, as do I, and the other two boys.

J enjoying the lake and reserve

I have also had all the bedrooms redecorated, and J's is now a very (very!) bright yellow. He loves it.
I have put up a new mirror, to which he now admires himself in, and sings songs to himself as he smiles back at his reflection. He choose the mirror himself, and it's actually a lot better to look at in the flesh, than on camera (see the photo below).
I also framed a few photos of him, as well as two pieces of artwork he created at school (the Picasso inspired pieces I have mentioned in previous posts).
He put a selection of teddies back as well. He filtered out ones he didn't want anymore, and has stuck with the 'Autism Awareness' bears that were sold in the UK.
No clutter either. He really loves it now.
Removing the blue from his room has positively lifted the atmosphere in there, and I'm so pleased I was daring enough to go for a bold colour.

The bold yellow room!

So to summarise April here at my house, we have had a fabulous month. Lots and lots of smiles and laughter. Games and fun. It has been such a lovely, refreshing change to have the whole house happy, at the same time!

World Autism Awareness Day April The 2nd

    April the 2nd is World Autism Awareness Day.

Bit by bit, little by little, we are challenging old beliefs, changing attitudes, educating the unaware, and bringing the truth about autism to the front. 

Today may the day we use for World Autism Awareness Day, but let's hope it continues, until acceptance, understanding, and respect, are given and received every single day, of every single year.

Hobbies And Recreation Activities For My Autistic Son

I get asked a fair bit, as to what J does for a hobby, or for recreation. As he is very particular in his likes, and is not capable, or even willing to attend, for example, a swimming, trampoline, or football club, it can appear to the world he is bored by not belonging to, or attending such clubs, and that he needs to be out there joining in with others, but I know he is more than happy with the choices he makes for his preferred activities.

He has joined after school clubs before, but because J doesn't enjoy waiting for a turn, or understand why he cannot just sit or bounce on the trampoline for an hour (whilst other children sit waiting), it becomes very un-enjoyable for him. He will say "goodbye bounce" (or whatever activity it is), and try to walk out of the building.

We have tried attending groups that are only for children with a learning difficulty, and have staff either trained or have experience in this area, but he still doesn't want to stay and join in, even if they have activities he would like. He may sit for a few seconds, complete what is at the table, and walk away, making tracks for the door. He used to enjoy attending a weekly, two hour session group, a few years ago, but as he got older, he  backed off from it. I did try and persist, but in the end I wanted him to be happy. 

Making / forcing him attend a session or activity is not the way I want to parent. He may be a child, but he also has likes and dislikes, and I respect that, and don't push boundaries - which will always result in a meltdown - and that is something I work hard to avoid.

I know ( as is shown in this blog a lot ) that he has a passion for art and craft work. He does like to stick to specific colours for his work (unless it is on his magnetic drawing board), and so we either get a beautiful rainbow of colour, such as with this piece ;

where I gave the children coloured lolly sticks, glue, and card, to create a collage or picture, or his regular choice of four colours - red, purple, green, and yellow (the colour of the Teletubbies!).

Then there is his copying of images from another TV favourite of his, Bear in the Big Blue House. He usually draws the character 'Shadow', who as the name suggests, is a shadow, and so is in black, against a white background. I have shown his Shadow drawings on the blog before, and this next drawing he made the other day, using just a white piece of paper and a black felt pen. It is of one of the shadow sketches that has Shadow singing along to. He drew this picture from memory, and didn't use a ruler or template.

So as you can see, art and creativity of craft pieces, are something he really enjoys. 

There are not many out of school clubs that offer something like this, and of the one that I am aware of, that can cater for young people with a learning difficulty, I still find that he doesn't settle or enjoy it, as he doesn't have the freedom of being at home, and has to adhere to rules, which he finds very hard, mainly because he doesn't understand. No amount of teaching or drilling into him will ever get him to understand. He just thinks it's restrictive, and so acts out against it. As his mum, I won't put this stress on to him. If I can provide this activity at home, then that's good enough for me. 

The other great passion of his, is nature. He adores being outside ; raining, sunny, windy, hailstones, snow, he loves it. Now summer is only a few months away, and spring is here, the garden is more accessible to us all, and he's in and out of the house, wandering around singing to himself.

I take him and his brothers to the beach a fair bit, and to forests, open spaces, greens, etc. 

I know what he enjoys to do when at these places - throw stones into the sea, dig with a spade, hug trees, dance around in a circle with his arms outstretched saying "whhheeeeee", or sit and recline back, looking up to the sky. 

The other day it was a lovely mild day, and I took all three boys down to the beach, but we stayed up on the grassy green area, as the other two were riding their bikes, (J doesn't like riding a bike or even a scooter now) and J walked off from where we were based, sat down, and proceeded to pick tufts of grass and sprinkle them over himself.

I took this photo of him, and as it shows, he is perfectly happy, by himself (if others came over to him he would get up and move away). He spent a good hour sitting there. Sometimes lying back, but just in that spot. 

He has very simple pleasures in life, and I try to allow him the freedom and capacity to enjoy these as much as possible, with little or no pressure, or external influences that can cause him stress. 

I understand that there are some 'experts' who will tell me that I should be more forceful and make him attend social activities, but his happiness is my focus, and as he cannot communicate to me verbally how he feels, I take cues from noises, flapping, telling me "goodbye" and followed by whatever it is he doesn't like (if he can't say the word, he will just scream "goodbye" over and over again). 

His happiness is paramount to me. 

He's happy - I'm happy.  Simple!