Sunday, 30 October 2011

Stress and upset

What a funny week we have had.
We went away again to the holiday home and it was very eventful.
From what happened I am going to investigate as to how I go about having an ADHD assesment carried out on J.
It has come to the point where I can no longer just use the excuse that autism has this huge 'umbrella' of traits and that his manic behaviours and wild antics are a part of that. I do believe he has ADHD as well.
The whole of the half term was filled with him shouting his phrases out, head banging everything and anything (such as when we were on a walk he would stop, kneel on the ground and head bang that), picking his bottom so much that he stank and his clothes stank and I was having to shower him  several times a day and change his clothes. When he bottom picks he then sticks his fingers up his nose, in his mouth and wipes it over his clothes.
Stealing food and gorging to excess (the holiday home has an open plan kitchen so I am unable to lock everything away).
We had a rather bad experience in Sainsburys as well.
He was flapping, head banging the till counter, spitting at the conveyor belt, picking his nose and putting his fingers straight in his mouth, yelling for food he wanted and basically making it so awful for all of us.
He was behaving this badly because he had people staring at him and commenting.
When he was only hand flapping he was fairly calm, but then the stares started, and contrary to what I have said before in this blog, I now believe he is aware that people are staring at him even if he does not make it known that he acknowledges it as such.
I have noticed lately that when there are strange people around, he begins to really over act in his behaviours, as if he is back lashing against society and their expectations.

To break slightly, as I was typing the above, J head banged one of the glass panes in the door that leads from the playroom into the third room/extension downstairs. I have just spent 20 minutes cleaning up the shards from the floor and cardboard and taping up the hole left by the broken glass. This now takes this door to two broken panes (he did the first one a while ago which I blogged about) and two cereal box coverings both from J and his headbanging.
I am waiting to have the panes replaced so am having to live with the look of shabbyness.

So, back to the orininal reason for this blog...

The people in Sainsburys were rude and so nasty. The three men queuing behind us could not be bothered to look elsewhere and so choose to continue to stare.
The father and his three precious princesses who were fresh from horse riding with their jodpurs, boots and mud stained logo emblazoned sweat tops, were opposite us on the next till.
Princess number 1 and princess number 2 just stared. Stared and stared. Now these two girls were definately in their teens, so not young enough to not know better.
Princess number 3 looked but sneakily. And the father? Well he stared from his pot bellied frame and did'nt attempt to reign in his staring daughters.
The till lady was giving a tortoise a run for his money in her skills at speed and efficency.
She knew full what was going on, but took it upon herself to scan each item as if it were a bomb about to detonate unless carefully passed through the scanner.
It was bloody awful. It made me realise that I actually do hate a lot of society. Nasty, judgemental idiots.

And now on to Ricky Gervais from my previous blog entry.
He has now apologised. There have been many eloquent blogs about this man and his 'mong' abuse and my entry pales into insignificance when I read those, but my point was made, albeit short and succint.
Sadly the 'mong' abuse from those in society that never used it before, but now think it highly amusing will continue. Continue until they latch on to some other campaign of abuse via the internet, where they can keep themselves safe behind their phone/laptop/computer screen and keep their vitriol up to mass proportions.

A few hours after posting this, J head banged again and smashed another pane of glass. So three in total now. It is really really getting me down.

Thursday, 20 October 2011

Skin picking, head banging and that Ricky Gervais story

J has started skin picking on his arms. Little patches have started appearing where his nails have dug in and caused the skin to break and bleed.
I have a battle to keep his nails short, which results in him screaming at me and trying to push me away with all of his large 9 year old frame (and those that know him will understand he is very strong). Somehow he is still able to pick at his skin but I am sure it is not through him biting as the marks are too small.

The head banging is also everyday now. Several episodes every afternoon and evening that result in the whole family becoming stressed as it is impacting now on W who is 20 months old now and wonders what the heck is going on.

He is still asking for and eating his peas and carrots and I even got him to eat scrambled egg the other day! He has'nt touched that since he was about two years old.

On a different subject there has been a little bit of press about Ricky Gervais and his use of the word 'mong' when updating his Twitter statuses.
The comic has refused to apologise after he repeatedly used the word "mong" in jokes and online messages to fans on the social networking site Twitter.

Gervais insisted the meaning of the word has changed over time, saying it is now used to describe an idiot, rather than being a derogatory term for those suffering from the chromosome disorder.
But the funnyman came under fire from disability groups and Down's syndrome campaigners, who said his use of the term was insensitive and distressing.
Gervais, who has more than 440,000 followers on Twitter, used phrases including: "two mongs don't make a right" and "good monging everyone".
He also used the term to describe the thousands of people who lined the streets of London to watch the royal wedding on April 29 this year.

This morning on The Wright Stuff a panel member, Steve Furst (actor/writer/comedian), talked about this during the newspaper section and made a very valid point -  " the more you say it does not mean it is right....he is playing to the gallery, he does enjoy it.....I think it's unnaceptable....he is an intelligent man he should find another word to use... unfortunately jokes about the disabled (and even homophobia) is still accepted".
I took that from a conversation he had with the actor (and Spandau Ballet) Martin Kemp during the debate and Martin Kemp made a valid point also during that bit -  "its a word that used to be used in the playground when I was a kid, but the reason it was okay to use it then was that we did'nt know what it meant, but he's old enough to know what it means"

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Vegetable Breakthrough!

I am really happy at the moment!
J finally has accepted peas AND carrots as part of his meal!!!!!

The school have been working on him at lunch time (he has a packed lunch from home) by introducing these foods every day. It was'nt working at all until a new dinner lady took over and told him/showed him " you eat these and you can have this" (usually his breadsticks or twiglets). Amazingly it worked and I was having notes left in the home-school book telling me had had tried peas, carrots and sweetcorn (he really hated that though but he still tried it).
Unfortunately it did not work the same at home! He refused point blank and would scream and cry.
This had been going on for over a year before the new lady stepped in, and then it only took a few months for him to do the same at home.

That is until the other day. He had the same meal as his brothers and the same routine of having peas on his plate. But this time, instead of tipping them on the floor he ate them! And then he was saying "peas, peas, peas" and trying to take them off of his brothers plates!!
I gave him some more and he ate them all.
And then......
He asked for "cawwots" and his hand hovered over their plates trying to take them off to eat!
I gave him some and he ate them all!!

Since then he has requested them each meal time (not breakfast though!) and eats them all up!

I know I have used lots of exclaimation marks in this post but I think it is only right!
After all this is the first time in his life he has not only asked for, but eaten vegetables!
A breakthrough at last!

Saturday, 8 October 2011

Eamonn Holmes' double standards!

"Retarded." Uttered by a television presenter on daytime t.v. Used to put down an interviewee on the show who claimed he was not very good at geography after a poll was read out from a newspaper claiming a third of the UK do not know where London,Birmingham or Glasgow is when looking at the map of the UK. "What are you, retarded?"

This is Eamonn Holmes reply on This Morning after complaints were made (and ignore the 'three or four' comment. He is downplaying it to save face)

“Sorry to three or four of you who have got in touch this morning, because I used the word ‘retarded’ during the newspaper review.
“You seem to take it personally or seem to say that I’m insulting all sorts of people who have all sorts of conditions, but obviously I would never want to do that or cause any sort of offence.”

He has taken to to Twitter as well and seem genuinely flabergasted that anyone would have taken offence to the use of the word.
Now I shall not be going off into a long winded post about this but will leave you with this thought -

Eamonn Holmes made a complaint against an impressionist show that had him portrayed as a fat food guzzling man. Take a look at Eamonn and you can see he is not shy of a donut or three and he himself has commented on his food habits being too much. He got very touchy about the impression made of him.

One rule for Eamonn and another for the rest of society eh?!

Sunday, 2 October 2011

J has a new saying. He is repeating over and over again. It sounds quite rude and I cannot figure out where he has heard it.
He says "oooooooo yes oh yes, oooooooooooooooh yes oh yes". Yet another embarrassing little thing he does that people must think has come from our home, but it most definately does not!

He is also back to ear fiddling again and getting distressed about it. He has dug the skin so much in the outer ear that he has made it bleed. I have blogged before about the experience we endured at the Dr surgery when his ear was irritating him. If he needs a more thorough examination we will need several people helping to hold him down and to be frank the nurses at my surgery are of a certain age and look like they need a meal - not a good recipe for a giant 9 year old boy, frightened out of his skin and kicking and head butting around.

I am thinking of making the upstairs family bathroom more like a wetroom as he just loves splashing his bath water everywhere and I now have a bucket positioned in the kitchen below where the water always leaks through a certain point in the ceiling. I want to go fully tiled, not the half tiled half paint (for which he loves to pen his ink drawings on too ). I'm hoping to seal the floor properly and make it much more autism friendly.

The downstairs shower room is also a possibility but it backs on to the utility room and it's more of a guest shower room than a general family bathroom.

As I type this I am watching him wander round the garden with a piece of garden hose held up, one end to his mouth and the other end to his (good) ear. He is muttering his usual ramblings and sayings from childrens television shoes, and looks very happy, enjoying this lovely warm October weather we are experiencing.