Hello!
It's been a very long time since I blogged here.
Life and all the twists and turns took over, and I did'nt find the time to sit and compose a post.
I had many great ideas for new posts, usually just as I was finally falling asleep and my mind was racing, but at that point I was loathe to click open the laptop and tap away.
To answer the question I have been asked many times before ; yes, J does still have autism. No magic cure. No miracle from up above. He's still my boy with autism.
I have submitted his forms for seconday school. That major event is fast approaching - September 2013. The reality that he is growing up so fast, whilst the provisions in place for young adults is still so poor and under funded, is looming over me.
In just a few years I know the question will be asked ; do I want J to be placed in a residential home for adults with learning difficulties? As there are waiting lists (especially for the popular homes), the question is asked well before he turns 18.
After the scandal, and successful prosecution and jail terms, of the staff at one particular care home for adults with learning dificulties, it has brought home the reality that I will never be able to be confident in the care he may require in the future.
The images and film that captured the torment and torture of the residents is not just shocking, it is sickening to the core. The thought that these 'carers' found it funny or even gained pleasure from their abuse is incomprehensible to any kind hearted person.
Of course, if I had the financial capabilities, I could hand pick a home. A private home where provisions are to a higher standard. A place where, because money talks, my voice and any requests, will be heard and acted upon.
But who is to say the quality of carer is any better? The pay incentives may be better, but the personality of the individual can still be unsuitable.
In both council run home and private home, how would my non verbal son be able to tell me he is being abused?
It is my belief that families of residents are using spy cameras more and more. Hidden in photo frames or an ornament.
We have seen an elderly woman being slapped by a male carer, who was performing a personal wash on her in her bed. The woman was wriggling and moaning, not actually able to verbalise, and he repeatedly slapped her thighs, shouting at her.
The daughter had specified that only a female carer was to carry out personal washing on her mother, because of the intimate nature.
If the daughter had not planted a spy camera she would not have discovered the horrid truth.
There are plenty of admirable and capable carers out there. They have their patients best interests at the fore of their job. But unfortunately, the minority of the aforementioned above carers, puts the reality of the situation out there.
I have to trust 100% that my son will be cared for appropriately and with compassion and understanding.
At this point in time, I do not have that trust. He will not be living anywhere but with me.
That may well change in years to come, for whatever reason, but that is one bridge I will not be crossing for a long time.
