Monday 31 March 2014

World Autism Day

It is World Autism Day on the 2nd April.
I thought this picture was rather good though!


Saturday 29 March 2014

BT Van Driver V My Friend!

Just a quick post today, but I thought this reply to an ignorant person parking their van in a clearly marked disabled bay, which has been specifically put outside a friend of mine's house as she is entitled to one, was really rather good, and a retort that I think a lot of us should remember the next time we encounter an incident like this.....


You'll notice the company is BT (British Telecom), which is one of the UK's leading land line and broadband providers. Their vehicles are very clearly marked. Perhaps a refresher course for some of their staff on the rules of the road?!

Thursday 27 March 2014

My Blog Is FOUR Years Old Today!

Oh my goodness, I have just remembered that on this day, four years ago, I decided to write down all about my life with my special needs child.
So many happy memories have been  made over this time. Of course there have been a few unhappy postings, but I promised myself that I would be an honest blogger, and not create an illusion of anything other than the truth about life as a mum to a special needs child.
Thank you for supporting me through my four years of yapping and moaning!

Monday 24 March 2014

That 'R' Word

What is it about the word 'retard'? Why do I get angry when it is used by people that understand its meaning, its context, and the way it can offend people?
Would I be so anti the word if I wasn't mum to a special needs child (or two for the record)?
Would I have it within my regular grammar and use it when I felt like it?
I am pretty sure I would still find it one of those words that I wouldn't feel comfortable using.

I have been viewing several videos on YouTube today, many made by everyday folk, highlighting why they find the word offensive and hurtful. Then there was the Penn Jillette video that he had made for YouTube, under his online recording of 'Penn Point'. I would have linked his video, but it does warn about strong language, and right from the start he uses swear words, and I do not link to videos like this - you can find it easily on YouTube if you wish.

Penn talks about the R word and Jennifer Aniston's use of it during an interview. Penn states "he doesn't care about this kind of news story, and he doesn't care about Jennifer Aniston".
He claims the word 'idiot' was actually used before the R word, and to which apparently the R word is the 'nicer' version of idiot. He uses the term"hyperbolic" (exaggerated)  a lot. And if you can stand the continual flicking between his ramblings and his advertising of several products, you can see he is making his point of view quite coherent. However what does irk me a little is his reference to not using the R word in the context of being offensive because - "he and his wife are involved with a charity in Vegas that helps people with all sorts of problems". It reminds me of people that spout off xenophobic or racist remarks and then claim they are not either of those as they have a friend that is X, Y or Z.

I have watched the Jennifer Aniston video of her using the R word, and she does just throw it into her sentence as if she uses it daily within conversations. There was no pause in her speech, which would have suggested she stopped to think about a relevant word to be descriptive. Instead it just flowed freely, which clearly defines it as a regular word within her vocabulary.
This is the link - Jennifer Aniston R Word

Then there are several videos which have children and adults in, talking about their opinion of the word.
Here are a selection I found interesting, informative and emotive -
For Brooke-End the Word
End the R Word
I am a Person
Spread the Word

I would be interested to hear if people (after reading and watching the true face of the R word, and the real life effect it can have) who do not find the word offensive, and either want to 'normalize' its use within the English language, or just find it acceptable, still stand firmly by their own conviction that the R word is fine, and that people that find it offensive are just being overly sensitive.
It will remain an emotive subject for many, and will not be something that can change overnight.
However, the more people begin to use it less, the less people will hear it and pass it on, and maybe one day it will have been phased out - and then most probably be replaced by another equally emotive word (such is our world).



Saturday 22 March 2014

Butting Heads with the Teacher

A lot has been happening these last few weeks. I haven't found the time to sit down and write an entry, and must say I haven't had much of an inclination to even try.
Not going into too many details, I have cancer, one that is under control, and one that is not going to wear me down.

I have had a lot to cope with on the J front too. He has been very noisy, flappy, screaming, and changing moods from extreme happiness to extreme upset.
I couldn't figure out what was causing this. I am usually adept at picking up on what has caused him stress, with many of the incidents being fairly minor, although they are not minor to him.
I had wondered if he was stressed due to him being a part of the annual Rock Challenge performance.
I did withdraw him from the performance as I felt his emotional well being was being hampered.

Unfortunately, he continued to be very hyper and stressed. I began monitoring his moods. Weekday mornings were fine. He ate breakfast, was happy to get ready for school, and was always raring to get going with T, his escort on the transport bus. In the afternoon, around 4pm, when he returned from school, T would tell me he had been a happy boy on the bus, and no trouble.
But, once settled back home, he would become increasingly loud, repetitive in requests, becoming upset at the slightest thing, spitting, and self harming - head banging and skin pinching.
Weekends were filled with noise, flapping, self harm, crying..... almost non stop. He had a phrase he repeated over and over again, loudly, and with intonation, - "Sit down Joseph". He is a very good imitator of people's voice tones, and so when he shouted it, and shouted it with an exasperated tone, I knew his teacher had been shouting it at him! He also never requested to "do lunchbox, yes", something which he had always requested, wanting to be ready for school, and wanting to go to school. This was out of character.

It was then I began to think it was school related. I have had a few doubts about the quality of teaching that J receives, moreso the attitude of his teacher, for whom I get the impression she dislikes J, and will not accept he needs a lot more support and care than she was willing to give.
I have repeated to her over and again that J will not tell me messages.  If she tells him to tell me something, he won't! Not because he either forgets, or cannot be bothered, but because he can't - he does not have the cognitive ability, and never has, and despite being told by me so many times, she refused to believe this. I missed so many important meetings, events, special fun days, because no letter or message in his 'home/school' book was left, and instead J was told the information - precisely why I never found out anything until it had happened, or on the day/ day before, when a reminder text message was sent by the school.

After yet another unpleasant telephone call from his teacher, where she said his spitting was getting out of hand and that he had to have learned this from home, I had had enough.
She had made accusations before this, and I knew right then I had to go in and speak to the Head teacher. For the record, he began spitting a few months ago, and no one in my family spits - it is a disgusting habit and I abhor seeing people freely lobbing their sputum about on the pavement or out of their car window, whether they are trying to appear 'cool' in front of their friends, or they are simply someone with poor manners and a disregard for anyone else - use a tissue if you have to spit something out! There are a lot of children at his school who have unsociable habits, and this is one of them, for which he has copied from.

The meeting I had with the Head went very well. I may come across as bossy on my blog, but I am always articulate and polite in person. I never shout, or lower myself to personal slurs or comments.
It has been agreed that J is struggling with the class he is in. He is not at a capable level of coping there.
My request to move him to a smaller group, with higher staff ratio, and a teacher with better skills at working with children like J who have severe communication difficulties and cognitive understanding, was agreed. He said that there had been a small conversation about moving him to a smaller class recently, as J appeared unhappy, and my visit had compounded this belief.
He will be going from a class of twelve pupils, to a class of six to eight pupils, and a pupil/staff ratio of 2-1 and not 4-1 as he has been having.
He will also be moved into a class which has his soul mate in, the girl I have written about on this blog before. I am in the process of composing another blog entry about this girl and J, and will hopefully be finished in a few days.

This class move was mooted to be arranged for September, the new school year, but I was firm that this had to be implemented and ready for the new term, when the school re-opens after the Easter break.

I reminded the Head that J is never going to be a nuclear physicist and that schooling for him is about learning day to day tasks, not Pythagoros' Theorem. Expecting him to be at a level that is unattainable for his abilities is more damaging, and will not work.
There will be parents out there that disagree with me, and want their child pushed, forced to learn, in the hope their child will become 'clever', but I happen to believe that J is intelligent, just read over some of my blog entries to see this, but his intelligence is focused on everyday living rather than  being able to spell 'floccinaucinihilipilification' and use it correctly within a sentence. Ironically this word means 'the action or habit of estimating something as worthless' - something a lot of pushy parents exhibit!
                                                                                                                                                                        
Time will tell as to whether the class move has solved the stress issue for him. I am aware that puberty is in full swing for him, and that testosterone is raging through his body, but I am hopeful this new class will alleviate a lot of the root cause, and in turn help him cope with the physiological changes occurring to his body.


Monday 10 March 2014

"I Still Would've Chosen You" - Poem by Terri Banish


More Shadow Drawing

J brought me his magnetic drawer, and showed me this picture he had drawn.
Shadow is the character from Bear in the Big Blue House, a regular feature of my blog!
He wrote her name too.



This is what Shadow looks like in the show -