Even before I had J I never made use of the many words people like to use to describe disabled children and adults.
'Spacker, spastic, retard, spaz,window licker', the list can go on.
I remember when Mencap was called The Spastics Society. It's name was changed mainly because the word spastic was now used as a derogatory term.
I don't know about you, but I get upset when so called 'friends' use any of the words above - even in jest.
Facebook is a great online place, but when you start making friends through friends you open yourself up to their 'status updates' which sometimes make me chuckle, other times leave be shocked.
Even certain close friends have been known to make a 'witty' statement which involves one of those words, and on one occasion I did reply to a (friend of a friend) persons 'status update' as the 'joke' they had allowed to be published was about 'spastics and crayons up noses' which will obviously amuse some people, but when I have a disabled child, it doesn't amuse me. I got a reply stating they too had a disabled child. Hmmm, well that's okay then I presume?
There are many groups on Facebook with a sole incentive to mock people with disabilities.
These groups get 'reported' but never seem to be stopped.
If you look at most of the 'Wall' comments the 'people' (I use the word loosely) that 'write' (ditto my previous brackets) have a low command of grammar,spelling,punctuation and common sense.
And because Facebook is now such a global domain, eclipsing Myspace,Bebo and um well all the other sites (I am not a teenager so I am not 'up' on what places they use) it is inevitable that people with little or no morals,decency or basic human kindness will find their equals through these vile 'groups' and spur each other on with childish jokes and puerile banter.
It is all I can do when out with J to be on guard for these low-lives who stare. What exactly are they staring at? Have they never seen a child before,is that it? Or is it that his innocence is offensive?
One time both J and I were in Boots. It was hectic with people, and the clever bods in management decided it was not busy enough to warrant putting another cashier on duty, as twenty people queueing was okay in their eyes.
So, J was getting frantic and the more I tried to calm him, the more he got louder.
Now, nearly everyone in the queue had guessed he was 'different' and so were not staring or making "tuts" towards us. But, there was a group of three girls, late teens I would have guessed, but the amount of make-up girls wear today, slutty clothes and hair do's that require a can of hairspray at each brushing, they could have been twelve. Their attitude was certainly that of silly little schoolgirls anyway.
They were snickering, laughing, pointing and mocking J and myself.
Now, years ago, at the start of our journey into autism, I would never have had the balls to say anything, but I took this opportunity to give these girls a lesson in humanity, something their parents and schooling had failed at.
I asked them what they thought they were doing. They sniggered.
I repeated the same question. I got a shrug.
Every single other person in the queue looked round to see what I was going to do or say.
I asked them why they thought it was appropriate to laugh and taunt myself and my son when it was plainly obvious A) I was struggling to maintain his behaviour and B) it was blatantly obvious he had special needs.
They went beetroot in colour. The sniggering stopped.
I asked them if they had heard of autism. "Nah" came the reply.
I gave them a brief description of it. They looked at the floor.
I asked for an apology. I got one.
I received a small round of applause from several people and a "well done love" from a bloke standing with his child.
Even now, I get so mad at how they made me feel in that queue.
Now this was a major event, but I have had many more smaller ones, with tuts, stares and pointing, and funnily enough never from other children, only the adults walking with their children. You'd think J had two heads, a green body and was space hoppering himself along the pavement the way some adults gawk.
I always ask the person who is staring or passing a comment what their problem is as my sons problem seems to be offending them.
How a child, who is babbling away to himself whilst sitting in a wheelchair can be so offensive or shocking is beyond me.
But humans are funny like that.
It is a shame so many lack any level of decency.
One group on Facebook was set up by people that worked for a mobile phone shop on Shirley High Street.
They would stand in their shop doorway and take photos of any disabled person passing by and post the pictures up on their group page with offensive captions. The scum who joined this group would add their dumb comments and all would be celebratory in their united bigotry.
Someone who uses Facebook and lives in Shirley reported this group to the Facebook Admins.
Guess what? Nothing was done. More people complained and pressed the 'Report' button. Nothing was done.
Innocent people with a disability were being photographed without their permission and ridiculed and mocked by a whole host of idiots with nothing better to do with their lives.
But Facebook admins couldn't be bothered to delete the group.
So, this woman who had made the first complaint went to the local news desk. She told them all about this group and the fact it was still allowed to be on Facebook despite the disgusting things being written about the unaware people.
The paper took up the case, and finally when it made the news, Facebook admins got off their overpaid and sycophantic behinds and deleted the group with a speed likened to me running away from a huge spider, but, with less of the screaming.
