J has been sleeping in his bed. After my previous blog a few months ago (Here) he did'nt go back to bed sleeping as I had hoped.
It has now been two weeks of every single night going to bed, falling asleep and staying there till morning. I put this down to two factors - the melatonin that encourages his brain to wind down (for which he has no melatonin naturally produced by his body) and the I Pod touch he received for Christmas. The I Pod means he can access YouTube and all his favourite children's shows and songs and he is one very happy boy. I don't think he understands it is actually his and not just one I allow him to borrow, like I did with my I Phone. He gives it back to me upon request so I can charge it back up.
The ironic thing is that now I have resolved the problem (well a problem to society, us as a family were used to him sleeping on the landing or the sofa) we now have an appointment for the sleep clinic!
Unfortunately they sent an appointment through on a Friday (and dated from the Wednesday) for an appointment the following Tuesday. When phoning to re-arrange I was asked why I was cancelling (well I call it re-arranging, not cancelling, but each to their own!) and I explained that with three children, two of school age and one toddler, I have to plan well in advance excursions and appointments which fall outside of my regular routines. I need either help from my mum at the actual appointment (to keep the toddler occupied) or for her to stay at home and care for him there. And with so little notice I could not get the help required. Considering that the appointment is for around 90 minutes and you will understand why - it is not a brief synopis meeting of 15 minutes duration.
I also asked for an appointment to be tailored for earlier in the morning so that J did'nt miss too much school, only to be told the appointment is not for him, but for me! How can they judge the whole family situation if they do not meet him? I also pointed out that the letter made no comment as to it being soley for me to attend and not the child in question. It may seem obvious to those working there, or indeed some mothers out there, but to me J has always had to attend appointments that are about him and when nothing is written down telling me otherwise I just presume that that is the case.
So I am waiting for my new, re-arranged appointment to come through, and am hoping I am given more than a few days to sort out the toddler situation. Damn me for having the audacity of having more than one child eh?!
I also have an appointment through for the CAHMS team ( Child and Adolecent Mental Health) which was referred by my GP after I requested an ADHD assesment and potentially being prescribed medication to help calm him down during the day, and help his hyper manic behaviours which I know not only stress myself and his brothers out (not to mention the staring adults we encounter out and about )but also stress him out as he finds it hard to calm down.
As my GP said, "we have ruled out that is was the lack of sleep that was causing the unwanted and undesirable behaviours, so now we can seek further help in tackling the daytime traumas he endures."
But again, and it seems a pattern with J and specialists, the appointment sent through was unsuitable. This appointment does want him to attend (see I told you!) but they sent the time through for 2.30pm. Fine for J, but not for me or my middle son, as I can not be in two places at once, collecting him and attending an appointment. I re-arranged for further on in the week, for an early slot (after dropping off my middle son at school) and it was done without hassle - thank goodness.
I am really pinning my hopes that this appointment is'nt the start of endless diary making of every day events, for the next six months, with faffing, waffling, time wasting and the continued frustration of talking about it, but not being helped with the one thing he needs - medication. I know there are parents out there anti medication - good for you. I however have come to the conclusion that it is more harmful to J's health to not have suitable medication to help ease his anxiety, his manic behaviour (spitting, screaming, headbanging, smashing glass etc) than to try to continue battling through it, damaging his body, allowing his siblings to witness it all and suffer a further few years before someone intevenes and demands he takes medication, or he does severe damage to himself or someone else. We have all suffered for several years on and off with his manicness and distress and it is now not abating but spiralling further and further. So please don't stand in moral judgement over me as to why you would do it differently, as this is my family, and my situation, and the time has come to not keep talking about it , but to be pro-active and tackle it with proven medication.
Anyway, onto a brighter note - I measured J the other day and he is now 5ft tall (that's 60 inches). At 9 years and 8 months old, that is tall! According to charts that work out the estimated final height when growing has stopped, J is working out to become 6ft 8 inches tall ( 80 inches) ! That is one tall little man I have created.
With size 5 (UK adult) feet he is rather like a baby elephant stomping around and up and down the stairs. I fear for my staircase on some days when he thunders up and down in his manic moments of excited screaming.
