I was asked the other day if I felt sad that my Boy has no personality, as he is unable to communicate effectively, and lives in a 'bubble'. As I always do, when greeted by this kind of question, I didn't get angry, or rude, as I am trying to educate people, not intimidate.
I explained he has a very cheeky side to him, and when something makes him giggle, it is a joy to hear and see.
Here are a few examples of the funny and sweet side of my Boy -
>) When he asks for certain food items he loves eating, and I refuse him, he will try and ask again, but in a different tone. He changes from a sing-song kind of voice, to a deep voice, a small voice etc.
This is a video link to YouTube that has Marjorie Dawes from the BBC programme Little Britain.
This is her talking about cake. If you like the show you will get what I am on about, if not, watch the clip. The way she says "cake" throughout this sketch is so similar to the way J asks for food! Marjorie Dawes - Cake
>) J had a very special bond with a girl at his old school. She moved to the school he is starting at in September, last year, as she is a year older than him.
He has seen her on his transition visits, and I know they will become close again. During the school day, if she became stressed, she would be taken to a quiet room with a staff member, and allowed some down time. J would then become upset that she had gone. Both J and A, the girl in question, have very similar autistic traits, and learning and communication difficulties. I think that is why they are soul mates. They 'get' each other in a world where they find it so hard to live in.
A staff member would take him down to the quiet room and show him that A was there.
This simple act helped him calm down, as he then knew she hadn't disappeared.
>) I was talking to a member of staff from his class a few weeks ago, and she told me her memory of J would always be of the boy that could charm the ladies. She told me she saw him sitting under a tree, right next to the girl, A, and she was gazing at him adoringly, whilst he had one shoe and sock off, and was biting his toenails! Ewww! But it still makes me laugh at the image this conjured up.
>) Back to food - the big love of J's life ;
At school, during snack time, if it was toast, J would line up with the other five or six children in his class, and get his slice with Marmite on. Each child would have one slice. J however loves toast. So he would re-join the queue and almost behave blasé about it, as if he wasn't really trying to get another slice. His cheeky nature showing there!
>) At school as well, in the classroom, each child had a water bottle with their name on. It would stay in school and would be refilled every day.
J one day took responsibility for this, instead of one of the staff members.
He would fill up each bottle with water, and place them back in the crate, where they were kept.
If a child was not in school that morning, he would not fill up their bottle.
Now there are two really positive points to this ;
1) The water bottles were all the same colour and design. The child's name was written in a black marker pen along the body of the bottle. J, despite having major communication problems, could differentiate each name, and so he always filled the right bottles up.
2) He may appear to be in his own world, or 'bubble', but he is very aware of his surroundings and of those that enter or leave it, and by not filling up an absent classmate's bottle, he shows awareness and logic.
So in response to the question I was asked, I demonstrated that J does have a personality, it is just more subtle than belting out tunes from a Broadway show, or giving an inspiring performance of The Merchant of Venice!
