J has been in his new class for a while now, and he has calmed down a lot, and seems much happier than before.
There has been a shift from purely negative comments and devaluing, via his previous teacher, to such wonderful, joyous comments from his new teachers (he has two who share the week).
It makes me feel secure that I did know my own son, and that he was not happy, nor was he receiving adequate, suitable teaching in his old class.
To compound my own views, I had a meeting with his current teacher and the Head Master of the school, in what is known in the UK as an Annual Review. We have one a year, with those responsible for J's care/education. The actual write up had been composed by his previous teacher (as it had to be written a few months in advance of the actual meeting), and it had a very negative opinion of J and his skills.
I was so impressed by the new teachers, who when reading through each section of the written views from the other teacher, actually spoke out, disagreed with many points, requested the HM change many parts, all for the positive. It was such a relief to see two teachers who knows their stuff, and who can see J for what he is, not what some unprofessional professional person thinks he should be.
One of his new teachers told me that she takes J, and several other children, to the local supermarket. He is given a basic shopping list (at present it has pictures on of a carrot and an onion, but will progress to more items), and money, and he takes a basket, selects the items, and takes them to the cashier till.
He copes extremely well she says. He doesn't have any comprehension of money or its value, but he is coping well with this small exercise.
They then go to the store cafe, and J is given a list of what drinks to buy, and again is given money.
The big issue with these two exercises is that J cannot put any other item in. That in itself is very hard for him, as he adores chocolate, loves picking up a four pint of milk, and adding some Twiglets to the trolley/basket. He doesn't attempt to do these at all, and it impresses me how well he deals with that - he doesn't have a melt down at all, and breezes through.
As for the cafe part, it must be incredibly tempting for him to add some biscuits or a cake to the tray of drinks, but again he doesn't.
He carries the tray of drinks over to the waiting table of other students and teacher, and hands them out.
This small independence task is an excellent building block for him.
He will never be allowed to go shopping, local or supermarket, alone, as he has no danger awareness, street safety, his social skills are not superb (but then take a look down many streets at nightclub/pub closing time, and many of the drunks exiting do not exhibit many social skills either!) and he doesn't understand monetary value and the difference between coins, apart from their size/colour.
But, what this is doing for him is enabling him to deal with the hustle and bustle of a supermarket, complete a shopping list, and understand he must go to a cashier till, and not just walk out of the shop with his items.
The shop staff have even begun to recognise J and his fellow students, and a few will give a cheery "hello" and a smile to them. This again helps with their socialising skills.
When I mentioned to the teacher that I dread shopping with J as people stare, tut, comment, or even push J, she did say that there has been a few negative remarks hurled their way, and usually from little old ladies. The teacher said she ignores them totally, and does not allow these tittle tattle battle axes to spoil the children's outing.
I did say to her that my stock response to any person who comes out with the classic line "in my day...." is to interrupt them, and say , "yes in your day it was common practice to lock up children and adults with any mental illness or disability in awful, frightening, abuse ridden asylums, and many families completely deleted any evidence of these people from their family history". That usually shuts their bitter, sour faces up!
Another breakthrough these super teachers have achieved is to get J into a swimming pool. He was tentative at first, but then, all off his own choice, got into the pool, and moved away from the side. He floated around and played with various pool toys.
It's amazing how the right teacher/s (and at his old school every teacher was the 'right' one luckily, which is why A) he developed and learned so well during his time there, and B) I have such high expectations of the teaching he should receive at the new school) can bring the best out of a child, that another has written off as useless.
As parents of special children, we seem to have to fight a lot of the time to get appropriate help, care, education and respect, and from what I hear from parents of young adults with special needs, the fight continues on once schooling has finished, and you enter a whole new world of battles. It will never stop, but then, that is my responsibility, as a parent, to fight for the rights of my child, no matter how old they are. I may grow older and wearier from it all, but I will never lose my smile or my spirit!
