So I have just been sorting through some photos I have found in a drawer. They are mainly of J during his baby years. I find it sad to reminisce over his old photos as it was a time when he had a future ahead of him which did not consist of adult supervision 24 hours a day and such basic language even three year olds have a better grasp of it.
I look at his smiling face and shining eyes and cannot see a trace of his disability there.
I was new to motherhood back then and loved every minute of it, as I still do (or I wouldn't have three children now!).
J was a joy. He was easy going and pleasant natured. He took to weaning like a dream and adapted to changes with ease.
I do remember remarking that he never had a temper tantrum. All through his toddler years he was content with whatever was offered to him and he was never bothered by having to learn to share, so tantrums never came about. This is something I realise was amiss. Tantrums are normal for toddlers ( as O has happily taught me) but as J was my first child I just presumed it was that we were just very lucky.
J only started to show his temper when he was around 3 years old. I can remember him trashing the house at least twice a day. And when I say trash, I mean he would go round each room like a hurricane, tipping the bookshelf over onto its front, swiping all the photo frames and ornaments off of the shelves and mantle piece, throwing every toy her could, smashing lamps onto the floor,picking up cups and plates and smashing them on the floor - there was much more but I don't want to write a whole long list.
We actually ran out of plates and cups due to his smashing, and we started to use plastic ones instead, which solved the dangers he was creating, but looked rather odd to visitors.
We stopped replacing the lamps as well.
I got so stressed at these daily temper outbursts that I had the health visitor around and broke down, telling her I couldn't cope with him anymore alone. There wasn't much she could offer, apart from a little patronising sympathy, and as my Grandma (RIP) had told me before (and I have mentioned here before too) children go through six week phases of annoying behaviours before moving on, and again she was spot on, as he stopped almost as quickly as he had started it, nearly bang on six weeks.
After looking at his baby photos I had a peek into his room where he is asleep on his mattress ( yes his mattress and not the landing floor (!!), although in his first sleep cycle he will wake and move back onto the landing) and looked at my big boy, all gangly legs and little snores, and wished for those baby days of blissful ignorance and warm snugly hugs.
