Well another week flies by and so much has happened.
I had the hospital appointment for the baby and it all went as well as it could, but now I have the long wait for the results. It's a shame my mind plays games and I am over analysing everything said that day by the Drs and nurses. I am 99% positive it will all be clear, but that little voice keeps on digging around and stirring it up and making me feel I have missed something.
J got awarded a certificate for his horse riding skills. He can say 'woe' and 'walk on' to his pony and enjoys the games they play. I know he has gotten another certificate for his trampolining (level 1) as I have to pay for the privilege of him receiving it and was told to bring money for the next session.
O has completed his three sessions at 'big school' and so far he is looking forward to starting in September. I have the gut feeling he will enjoy it for a few weeks then decide he does'nt want to attend anymore. He is a home bird and loves our time together, so I am sure he will make a U turn and come up with his excuses as to why he cannot go - " I have a cut on my knee mummy and that means I have to stay at home" (used by him as a reason not to attend playgroup).
It's funny, but you would think that all people that work with special needs children (and by that I mean children with learning difficulties, not just physical disabilities), would be conversant in their unpredictability, swings, communication problems, lack of awareness and understanding, but today, (and this has happened once before aswell) I was made to feel I should have reprimanded J and he should have understood his actions and the reasons they were wrong.
Be reminded that this was at a place designed soley for children with learning difficulties so he should not be a alien to the staff.
On collecting him I was told he had gotten upset as he could'nt use the computer as another child was doing so. "He pushed X as he wanted to go on it". I then stood there with the impression I should therefore tell J off.
J does not understand reprimands as such - especially after the fact. To him, if I were to tell him off at that juncture he would be confused and become upset, as it would seem to him I was just picking on him for no reason. I will not do that. No matter how long the woman wants to stand there hinting. Surely as a staff member working with these children, there is some understanding about their needs? I felt very let down and a little miffed that he was being targeted. Yes, tell me, if you have to, that he got upset and pushed, but don't make me try to tell him why he should'nt have done it. I might as well be telling him the answer to the meaning of life, it would make just the same amount of sense to him.
I could have asked why the children were unsupervised using a computer, but then that is just getting into tit for tat.
I remember an episode of the Simpsons, where Bart is trying to train his dog,Santas Little Helper. SLH was not doing as he was told and it was frustrating Bart.
The view changed to that of SLH and what he was receiving verbally from Bart.
"Blah blah blah, sit", "blah blah blah, fetch".
I remember a few years back, when on a course to learn about J and his autism, we were told how to keep our requests to a basic one-two word sentence.
Instead of "J can you go and get me your socks please?", we should say "J, socks" (with the intonation highest on the word 'socks'.
Therefore the actual request is not lost amongst a lot of words, and he takes in what he is being asked. To J the first sentence would have been "J, blah blah blah" and he would have missed the vital request of 'socks'.
Seeing SLH made me laugh as that is how I imagine J perceives the verbal world.
Recently J has been showing his love for his baby brother,W. Little things such as getting a wipe and gently dabbing his mouth when he has possited some milk up.
He lies next to him on my bed and holds his hands, stroking them. Or he'll hold his feet and prompt me with his word for the 'This little piggy' rhyme.
He goes right into W's space and up to his face, very close, not speaking, but W smiles when he knows he's there. They have a real bond.
O too has his bond with W. A little sibling rivalry also, but I know he loves him just as much.
As O is still not at an age where he can understand why J is different, it is frustrating for him and I know he feels left out of the loop.
I have tried to explain that J is different, but now O is telling me the reason he has done X is because 'I'm a different boy mummy, that's why I did it". It must be so hard for him, not having the usual relationship with his big brother and I feel so guilty that he is going through it.
I know O loves him however, as one day, on our way to the kayaking, O got it into his head that J was going away on a boat. He started crying in the car, saying he did'nt want J to leave us and go away on the boat. He said he loved him and would miss him. Talk about making me cry aswell. After explaining it was a little jaunt along the river for an hour, he cheered up and understood and then went back to bossing him about.
