"You're so happy all the time", " you cope so well", " you never look down". I have been told these statements from various people that either know me or meet me and learn a little of my situation.
Should I be more down beat? Should I have a scowl on my face? Do I need to look as if I am falling apart? Would that make people feel then that when I say how hard it is to be a parent in my house, they actually believe me? I swear some think I make up the dramas and goings on in this house, because somehow I always seem to put a happy spin on it, smile, and dig deep and carry on.
I have been called bossy, a know it all, and stupid, to name a few of the name calling that have been thrown at me. Do I let it bother me? No! I deal with children all day and night and so name calling from an adult, whether to my face or to my back, gets deposited within the vaults of my memory, but side step my feelings, so I don't get hurt, just sad that after everything I do I still get abuse from those that should know better (adults in other words).
When I explain about the lack of sleep J has, I am asked how I cope, and told that it must be so hard for me. Well, yes it was hard four years ago, but you kind of adjust and it becomes the norm in your life. I don't look as if I only sleep five hours a night and I can thank my bright smile and Clarins Beauty Flash Balm for that.
I don't want to walk around, bedraggled in dowdy clothes, hair strewn by the wind, a hairbrush rarely pulled through it, and a face like thunder. I am very grateful for being able to carry a child and being surrounded by three of my children now makes me happy. A frown would not be welcome here. At my front door, negativity is left outside, bad manners are not welcomed and open arms ready for a cuddle are always expected. After all, no matter how bad your day is, when you have your child in your arms, or you peep in on them asleep, you smile and feel the love. You can't be sad after that.
