J has always had a fear of having his hair cut.
I used to do it when he was asleep, which was always very tricky, but at least it stopped the screaming and vomitting.
He is also the same about his nails.
I finally decided that he had to bite the bullet and have them cut when awake as he would wriggle his feet about, even though asleep, and it got quite precarious when I reached his little toe as I would worry I would catch his skin instead of the nail.
I purchased a hair grooming kit with a comb, clippers, scissors and mini shaver.
At first he went ballistic. Screaming "one more, one more". Coughing to make himself sick.
But, I restrained him enough to get a good going over of his hair. Unfortunately he kept on dodging the clippers and at one point he made me slip and take more hair off than I wanted so he ended up with a very short cut as I could'nt leave the hair looking like that!
Now, a few years down the line he will stand and is fairly calm. It is only when it comes to the front of his hair that he panics. He can see the hair falling down and touches his head worriedly. "One more,one more" is said often, but I do get a good haircut on him now.
I'll never take him to a barber shop as he'll panic even more and will not sit for someone coming at his head with clippers!
His nails also got the same shock treatment. I just went for it one day after building up the courage.
He kicked, scratched and screamed. I ended up sitting almost on his legs to restrain his movements.
Now, he accepts I will be cutting his nails and even though there are a few verbal protests and the odd snatching away of his hand or foot, he does let me do it.
I call this method ' learning by trauma'.
I spoke to the paediatrician about it and she agreed that sometimes it is just better to get on with it, deal with the trauma, the screaming, the hitting etcetera as most children quickly learn that their panic is unfounded and that it does'nt actually hurt them and is over quicker if they just comply.
There is no way I could ever explain to J that X is not going to hurt as his comprehension is zero in these matters. So for him it has to be the trauma route to discover the truth.
I think he believes that he is losing his hair or his nails and worries that they are gone forever, which technically those pieces are, but as time has progressed he can see for himself that they do grow back, and then have to be cut again. Occasionally I have seen him pick a nail clipping up and try to replace it onto his finger. But, for the most he is complient enough now to accept the situation and I can groom him properly to look clean and smart.
