A Chicken Stir Fry First!

A major and rather unexpected thing happened last night.
I cooked a chicken stir fry, with lots of veg, noodles, and sauce, whilst being watched by J, and when I began to dish it up on to my plate, J asked for some - "J chicken, yes", so I asked him to get me another plate, which he did.
I put two slotted spoonfuls of stir fry on to his plate, and put the spoon back into the pan. J picked the spoon up and proceeded to load more stir fry on to his plate.
I was dubious as to whether he would take one mouthful and then tip it on to the floor for the dogs to devour, and so I watched him.

J doesn't sit at the table to eat, he never has done. He hates it. He does sit happily at a restaurant table, as he has learned to behave in a sociable manner in those kind of places. Plus he knows food is served at the table in restaurants, so if he were to vacate and wander off, he (in his head thinking) could be missing out on major food consumption!

J put his plate on to the buffet bar cabinet ( a very heavy solid oak type of sideboard), which is along the wall in the dining room. I have a 'hatch' in the wall between the kitchen and dining room, and so I can see right in to the dining room from the kitchen, and vice versa. I peaked through, and he shovelled the first mouthful in. This was quickly followed by a second and a third mouthful. He loved it.
As quick as anything he was back in the kitchen and helping himself to more stir fry from the pan. He helped himself to all of it. Not one noodle or piece of shredded vegetable was left.

I sat down with my plate in mild, happy shock.

J ate all of this within a few minutes. He does not waste time when it comes to eating food he likes. There is no mid chat between bites. There is barely time for him to breath I think.

There was no left overs for the dogs either - poor things!

My labradors (same litter brothers, above in photo) have always behaved as if they are one meal away from starvation, despite being fed their main meals by myself, treats of doggy biscuits, and snuffling their noses at every little crumb that is dropped by the boys, and so they were highly despondent at not having the option to have leftovers scraped into their bowls. A treat of their favourite biscuits soon eased their trauma!

Another Award, College, And School Budget Cuts

I wrote recently about J receiving a 'Pupil of the Term' award at his school, and I have found yet another certificate for him, this time being 'Pupil of the Week'. The school is not small in number, so it is a real achievement that he is earning these awards amongst so many other students. I am biased, and am proud to be so. J is such a good boy ; helpful, diligent, thorough, happy, cheeky, and talented, to name a few of his qualities (although they also sound like some alternative names for Snow White's Dwarf friends).

He has just over a year left at this school before he leaves for college. The college is a part of the school, and therefore is suitable for his needs and abilities, and will teach him and build on his already learnt life skills.
It seems as if it was only yesterday we were saying "goodbye" to his first school, with years ahead of him at his current one.  I did have a lot of reservations about his current school before he started there, but luckily, apart from the initial bumpy start with him being put into the wrong class (for which I had him moved quickly after his behaviours of head banging and stress were blighting his home life), it has been very good for him.
I think it is natural for a parent to question their choice of school for their child, and when the options of school are limited due to there not being enough special education schools around, and the current ones not being big enough (for the amount of children requiring this kind of schooling, who have to stay in mainstream and struggle), the worry can increase as you don't have much of a choice, unless you have a few hundred thousand pounds a year to pay for private special education schooling, and then you can be choosy - but for the majority of parents this is not an option.

I do have a complaint about the transition from school to college though. When children in England leave school at the end of their education, it is around 6 weeks BEFORE the rest of the school years finish. This means that there will be a a large proportion of 15-16 year old children who are taken from their routine of school, and have around three months of nothing - those that are lucky enough to snaffle a place at a residential unit or activity centre, or who have the money to spend on keeping their child occupied and safe, will cope a lot better than the majority who will have barely anything, and will become harder to manage at home because of the ridiculous amount of time between finishing school and beginning college.
What do working parents do? There are parents that work 'school hours' but will have little choice but to either spend a lot of money on paying for care for their child, or who will have to take extended leave or even hand in their notice.
It seems incomprehensible that this amount of no schooling is allowed each year.

Also remember that with the budget cuts the current Conservative government are implementing, school budgets are being reduced by around 11% which is huge. Couple this with the enormous cuts to the social budget of each council, and there is a threadbare service being provided for a lot of desperate families.
Spin doctors will throw figures and waffle out to try and skew the evidence and facts, but the truth is, state education is a low priority for this government - facts do not lie.

Education is the foundation building blocks for children's learning. Without a comprehensively funded backbone, there will be less opportunities for the majority of state educated children to achieve. I am talking about all children here, both mainstream and special education. Why do politicians never learn from history?
And why do the populace still allow this to continue? If it is a case of  "in my day......" then it is sad that these older generations think so little of their grandchildren and great grandchildren's futures.
Then there are some out there who have no children (their words) for whatever reason (age/choice etc) who proclaim they "don't care" and "are glad" that money is being saved from the education budget, but they forget that these children have the potential to go on to be doctors, dentists, pioneers in medical science et al, which directly will impact on them at some point in their life.
We have to hope, and argue, that these latest cost cutting themes will be revoked.

Police Officer Rescues Young Boy with Autism From Drowning

I viewed a recent video that has been made public, of a US Police Officer rescuing a young boy who has autism, from a pond.
As the footage is filmed from the bodycam the officer is wearing, it gives the viewer a real insight into the drama, and how his quick thinking saved this boy's life.
You can view the footage on social media sites and news outlets, and I'll also put a link here http://abcnews.go.com/US/video/police-officer-rescues-child-autism-pond-47170870


It was always a worry of mine - about water and my Boy. Before he developed his fear of the swimming pool (for which he has now overcome this thankfully -  he would scream and have a melt down if he even so much as passed by a swimming pool centre from the road side ), he had to be watched like a hawk.

One day we were invited to a family birthday party, and the person's house had a big pond in their garden.
As I had with me my (then) baby (he's now nearly 11), who was feeding every minute from me, and I was still sore from the birth, I was assured by a family member that they would watch him, and follow him around - I voiced my concerns about the pond quite effusively.
Unfortunately a short time lare I saw this family member chatting with a group of people, with my Boy nowhere near them.
I bundled my baby up, and wobbled and hobbled out to the garden, to find my Boy waist deep in the pond, and stuck.
Some other people came out to see what I was making a commotion about, and helped me to get him out.
He was fine, but cold and soaked through. He was fine, as I said, but what if? I don't ever want to imagine a bad outcome of that incident.

As the family party was moving on to a restaurant (another big no no of mine back then, as he found social situations like that very hard), the host offered to tumble dry his clothes, but there wasn't enough time to get them dry - they were soaking after all.
I wanted to go home,  but was made to feel guilty for wanting this, and ( this was before I became a lot more confident and forthright in myself) I was not someone that spoke out that much, so we went along.
It was a disaster.

Let's remember my Boy was in damp clothing, in a new setting, with a lot of strangers around. The restaurant was an average family place, not a high brow affair, so there were other children around.
It was awful though.
He wasn't loud and didn't have a meltdown, but he didn't want to sit down, he wanted to walk about our table area. This caused an older couple who were seated a good 20 feet away, to tut, catch my eye and then shake their heads. After about 5 minutes of this, I approached them and explained about J, and his special needs. It was one of the first times I was bold and brave - I was fuelled by the passion I had for protecting my Boy, and my need to correct these people who had categorised me into the role of a bad parent.
They were taken aback, but I didn't care. Their ignorance had stirred the fire inside me, and I wanted them to understand, and hopefully become less judgemental in future.

The food took ages to arrive, and when it did, it was not what I had ordered for my Boy.

I gave up.

I picked up my Boy, pushed the pram with my other hand, and walked out.

Not one family member was bothered by this. Sadly.

I got the boys into my car, and just as I was buckling myself in, one person from the party came out and opened the passenger door, sat down, and looked at me.

I began to cry. I cried so hard. I mumbled about how hard I was finding my life with a child with special needs. I sniffled about not coping, being useless, struggling to deal with my Boy's behaviours. This person listened and hugged me. That helped enormously. Just to have someone to unburden my troubles to, and who listened, and didn't offer a solution ( not that anyone could, as my Boy was the first family member to have a special need like this).

I resolved to myself on the long drive home ( 90 minute drive) that I would never allow myself to be coerced into going against my maternal instincts, I would not be pressured ever again to attend an event that was not suitable for my Boy, and I would not allow strangers to sit (or stand) and pass judgement upon me or my Boy.
I've stuck to that. I've been called stubborn. Bossy. But I don't care. The care and needs of my children come first.
Yes there has been the odd mutterings from certain people about my lack of attendance to places with my children, but they do not seem to care why. That is their loss. If they took the time to really get to know and understand J, they'd see him as I do - a happy chappy, who has grown into a tall, smiling, compliant young man. J is a credit to me, I am so proud of all he achieves.

In regards to the video, I have read some vicious comments directed towards the parents of this little boy, and as usual, they are arm chair detectives who pass comment on a situation for which they know nothing about the preceding events that led to this little boy getting into the pond, and into difficulties in it. Let us just be thankful that the boy was rescued so quickly.