I have known since 2006 that J has additional learning difficulties as well as the autism, but it was only the other day that I suddenly realised that the reason I always say he is severely autistic is that it is not that, but the learning difficulties, I just didn't click them together.
I always wondered why he finds everyday life so hard. Not understanding instructions, unless they are familiar and simple eg :- " socks on".
Even in his reports from the paediatrician it states he has severe learning difficulties as well, but I just never thought about it. I focused on the autism part.
J is like a dog. I mean that in a kind way however.
He does not understand most of what is asked of him, but gestures and pointing ( by the adult) in the direction of what is expected ( perhaps asking him to get the plate or cup from the table) help him to see what we mean.
Dogs are very similar like this.
When we want them to fetch something, we usually change our tone of voice and gesture wildly towards the object.
The dog will run round, trying to work out what you are asking of them, and when they do succeed in the task they get high praise. Just like my J.
Unfortunately for J, he can easily forget a simple task.
Take the other day.
J has to wear deodorant now, everyday, and I use the word "spray" as I spray him.
He was aware of the canister and where I kept it.
But suddenly he seemed to forget completely what "spray" was. I requested "J spray please" and he handed me a hairbrush. "No, spray" I repeated, in a high sing song tone.
He handed me a photo frame.
"No J, spray, there" ( as I pointed to it) an he got into a flap. This is when I have to intervene as it will just continue with him flapping about and making his upset noises.
It is like simple things(well simple things in my opinion) seem to just 'fall' out of his head.
Then, on the other hand, he can remember things from years ago.
He was at his previous school over two and a half years ago, but even now, without me saying anything, he will point and name his old friends and teachers.
He is also a little magpie.
He watches everything I do and where I put things. I may forget, and then when I come to find it, it has been moved.
I used to find a lot of objects posted behind radiators, and flat things like photos, posted underneath the telly base.
Once, when he was a toddler, he spied I had bought an 18 pack of Petit Filous yoghurts (still his favourite and only yoghurt he'll really eat) and had popped it into the fridge.
The next day, when going to get some out for him, I couldn't find them.
I looked everywhere, but to no avail.
A few days later, when I was getting a toy out for him from his toy cupboard, I found them.
Stashed away with a spoon.
He had hidden them behind toys as well, not in full view at the front of the cupboard.
Now, as a big boy, he still spies the foods he likes when I have bought them.
We have a lock on the kitchen door to stop him helping himself and gorging on food. This was a huge problem, that resulted in him gaining a lot of weight, but also, making himself vomit the food up as he had consumed such a vast quantity.
Whenever the kitchen door is opened he is there, like a shot, from all corners of the house.
Even on the top floor, he can hear the door being unlocked and he is down two flights of stairs like a whippet chasing a rabbit.
He is very quick at stealing the desired food too. Sometimes without me noticing.
At the back of our garden, we have waste land over the fence, not utilised by any property.
I have nicknamed this area 'Jaffa Cake Mountain' as there can be piles and piles of packets of mini Jaffa Cakes there. All courtesy of J.
As I cannot access this space, I have to fashion a 'grabber' device to pick them up.
Several weeks may pass when it is clear, and then suddenly I will look out and there is the mountain again.
When we first moved in to this house, I didn't realise what J was doing with the empty packets.
One day I looked over our garden wall, to my neighbour's garden which we can see into, and oh my God, his garden was a litter bin of packets of crisps, biscuits and chocolate.
I was over the wall like an Olympic athlete, bin bag in hand, and went round picking it all up.
I filled a bin bag half way with the empty packets. Half way!!
Luckily for me ( and not really for the neighbour as he was going through a divorce) he was never at home, so he wasn't aware of the junk food island being created in his back garden.
Thankfully, as I insisted a lock be fitted to the kitchen door, this is now a rare occurrence.
Just keep that door locked, please!
