These are just a sample of some of the words spoken to me, over the years, when people enquire about my children and myself.
The latest one was very recent, and occurred when I went car shopping. I was invited to sit at the desk of a friendly looking salesperson, as I had certain preferences - sliding doors and seven seats being the priority. I was asked why I needed both of those, and I explained that the children need space, and not to be squished next to each other - consider J is 6ft 3in, with his brothers following in his giant footsteps - the car needs to suit their growth.
Sliding doors are fabulous when you have children, and because car spaces are still inadequate in width for the modern vehicle (in the UK), it means the boys can get into, or out of the car, with ease, and there are no dings against other car doors.
As the salesman pushed me to consider an estate car, I felt I had to mention about the boys and their needs.
I was met with a bowed head, lowered eyes, and him telling me the following, as he shook his head slowly and said -
I was taken aback, but remained stoic in not responding with an outburst of shock, and instead steered the topic to whether electric folding wing mirrors were worth paying out for - the first thing I could think to say!
The truth is, I don't agree with the statements about being unlucky. I consider myself blessed to have children, especially after being told over 20 years ago that it was highly unlikely I would ever have children due to complications I suffered when I was younger.
My boys do not need sympathy and regret. They need respect and acceptance.
I do understand that for some, they feel they have to say something, and they believe that what they say will be comforting or kind to me. There is usually no malice, just ignorance, and for that I don't get angry or upset. I have responded before, by explaining that they are very happy boys, who laugh a lot, smile, are creative and musical, are kind, and who have never once been made to feel they are less than perfect in my eyes.
I am sure I will hear many more 'sympathetic' responses from people, but I'll just continue to listen with courtesy, and smile with politeness.
As for the electric wing mirrors - I have narrowed my car choice down to two, and one has them fitted as standard (Ford Galaxy Titanium X),
but does not have sliding doors
(and they do not have an option to change to sliding).
The other doesn't fit them as standard, but is an optional extra (VW Sharan SE),
but does have sliding doors.
They are both very similar looking cars, with proper 7 seats (not fiddly, cramped seats in the third row as some 7 seaters have)
I have to make my mind up soon, as I need to order it to be built!
